Dear Cleveland Nightclub Owners.

Dear Cleveland Nightclub Owners,

I am bored.  There is nowhere good to go dancing.  Could you please make a multi-room club, and market it well with a great promotion manager.  Could you manage to have mainstream music that is not too god-awful and trite?  Moreso really, could you have mainstream  music that is a bridge to some great underground tunes.  Like….gee, maybe a club with electro/pop/dance rock in one room and some banging techno in another?  Or how about a big old latin/salsa night with some house music upstairs?  Or even hip hop that later in the evening bridges into the wildest ragga/DnB/junglist evening around?  Maybe introduce people to some new stuff?  Honestly, have some music played that is well—new?  How about some unknown bands that are really talented (instead of your brothers high school friends?)  Or a DJ that can work a dancefloor and get the idea of track selection and music flow but plays something original?   Decor, I almost don’t care.  Just keep it clean, keep it dark enough in areas so we don’t feel like bugs under a nightlight, and put a wicked sound system in.

Keep the covers cheap (good promotions and bookings should make this possible, have some Belgian beer and a decent wine selection, and sure, go ahead and keep the Miller Lights I guess.

Try new tricks instead of wet t-shirt contests, using the words “hottest”, “coolest”, and “biggest”, serving shooters or any other sugary awful shots.

I’m not saying there isn’t great music in Cleveland.  There is.  Consistency is a whole other thing though.  Seems like lately, everyone picked their nightclub business plans out of the same dusty book in the back of the library.

Then again, forget all that.  Who doesn’t somebody open an art gallery with a really good microbrewery and wine bar, that has DJ’s spinning some tunes or small bands play for art openings?


5 Responses

  1. I would argue that some places have come decently close on at least a few of the points you raise, it’s just that there’s no money in it in this town. The vast majority of clubbers in this town spend their money at establishments that play the overwhelmingly overplayed and trite mainstream music.

    I’d love to have a club as you describe, but I’d also love to get home from work one day and find I’ve won the lottery without even having bought a ticket. I’m not sure which is less likely.

  2. Jim, oh believe me, I’m not saying that this was necessarily supposed to be realistic. Just having a little fun dreaming. ;P

  3. This is a new club at 75 Public Square called Underground, its a live rock club that has shows Fridays n Saturdays, Film Festivals on Sunday and some comedy shows to boot. It’s farely new and I am sure the manager would make attempts to fulfill all requests, and does carry some wine. Plenty of comforts and space…still growing.

  4. Hi I’m Anthony and I grew up in nightclubs from the age of 6 my father was a bouncer in alot of places. I can’t believe that the cleveland nightclub seen has gone down hill so bad I remember when clubs wre packed by 9:30pm and they stayed packed until 1 or 2 am I would really like to Know What HAPPENED to those days I used to do the saturdaynight fever show with Q104 at capers nightclub in beachwood Oh. I still think there is a market for that 70’s-80’s disco atmosphere. If you just think about it for 1 min. the music that came out back then was not bad it sounded good and it packed the house there still is a number of people that would love to hear the Hi-Energy disco and dance music from that era but I think Nightclub owners are affraid to try it again. Also club owners do not promote there clubs like they used to do The Fricken clubs need to stay away from the rap and that Fricken Hip Hop junk It’s not even music Adults when they go out don’t want to be running into there niehbors kid when they go out or see there daughter making out with some unmentionable in the corner. We have to go back to the old fashion ways to bring back the nightlife Clubs are for mature adults not punk kids and butt cracks showing We need a 35 or 40 and over club no acceptions. and stick to that type of music format and then who all are looking for to go to to have a good time will come to that place and have a good time! I’ve been a discjockey for 22yrs. I know what this town needs and it sure ain’t no Fricken HHIIPP HHOOPP CLUB. Please respond P.S. You might know a club that would want to try it let me know open for suggestions Thanx! Anthony

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